you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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