Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
