Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Enjoy the penises
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
