How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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