Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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