My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
