this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
