just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
