I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
