I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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