I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
love makes seman taste better
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
