Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
