You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
