She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
there is another microwave in the elevator.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
