i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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