Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
