Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
