..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Randomize
