3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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