We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
