stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
