You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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