When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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