Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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