We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
