Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
