Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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