You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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