She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
