At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
foreskin is a definite game changer
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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