Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
