I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
