fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
