dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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