fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
