dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
