Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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