Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
