There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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