I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
