I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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