Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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