Sponge bath it is.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
