I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
