I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
