no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
