you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
