living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
