Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
