..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
