Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
My cat gives me a boner
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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